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I hate April 23



a soulmate is a person that won’t complain about any of my music when i put my ipod on shuffle

i complain about my own music when its on shuffle what are you talking about

(via destructive-breed)


i wanna get super rich so i can do cool stuff like tip waiters $1000 or pay off people’s student loans for fun

(via nvrbnhurt)




we live in a world where the pizza arrives faster than the police

Well the pizza driver faces consequences when their job isn’t done right.


(via fergussonweblogxz)


"It’s a metaphor, see. You put the bacon thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the…um…well, you eat it, actually, ‘cause it’s there and you’re nearly tasting it. So it’s not a metaphor. Um. I have no idea where I was going with that. Want some bacon?"

(via peterswebmemhi)

Me (via c-trl)

(Source: razors-andblades, via teganandsaranews)

As long as you’re happy, do not worry about me.


ur very cute and very far away please come be cute closer to me

(via fergussonweblogxz)

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